Clone is the title of the book I am reading at the moment, it is about the son of a Worldwide known doctor, that is famous for cloning animals. There have lots of protests and attacks on the son of the doctor, and the story is about the stressful life of Jordan Finch, the son of Patrick Finch.
January 29, 2015 at 12:00 pm
Esteban, this is a very good piece of argumentative writing. Here are some things to consider:
Targets:
1) Check your use of ‘was’ and ‘were’. Occasionally, you use the wrong form of the word depending on the singular or plural pronoun.
2) There are occasions when you splice sentences (using commas when you should really start another sentence). For example:
‘Early forms of torture used by the Romans was crucifiction, yes the same way that Jesus “Died”, the jews had stoning, no, not the hippy type of stoning, and the Egyptians had Desert sun death.’
3) Remove your reference to Sam Harris. It is too long.
4) Try to include some language features typical of argumentative writing (rhetorical questions, emotive language, anecdotes, triplets, exclamatory phrases, imperatives).
This would currently receive: 31/40 (B)